[...the following might jeopardize my status as a potential American citizen. So if any member of the FBI, CIA, or any Intelligence organization happens upon this, I would like to say, "Jay-Kay!"]
...the jokes about my "legal alien" status are about to be over- sorry Eric. I'm not so sure how I feel about surrendering my Kenyan passport for the American one but according to one of the exam questions, "it is a privilege" so I'm just gonna roll with that for now.
Basically, I think of this as one of my infiltration schemes (more on those later). I have penetrated the American system, gained its trust, and now I am becoming one of them. Unfortunately, I sealed my fate when I answered yes to "are you ready to bear arms to protect the United States?" Clearly I am far from being war ready, although I believe I have the potential to be extremely trigger happy when put in the right situations. I am also a damn good spy... so in the event that a universal draft is ordered, I am willing to trade information about my people (the Somalis) that will blow your mind in return for immunity from military service. For example: the Somalis love their bananas so if you control the banana trade in Somalia, you can basically topple their society, cause havoc, and thus get revenge for that embarrassing blemish in your military record. I guess that would be called being a damn good snitch, but either way, I know stuff lol. However, if the Amurricans decide they want to expand their holy/oil war to include the rest of the Muslim world I won't trade my Qur'an for a gun. I might just have to pull a Muhammad Ali and say "I ain't got no problems with no Moos-leems." Sadly, I will probably be a lowly citizen with hardly as much influence in the country as Ali has so there will be no R. Kelly song sang about me. Then again, Kelly will have already touched the sky by then...
1 comment:
um. i love you.
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