The USA 4 x 200m freestyle relay team DESTROYED the former world record by 4.68 seconds to take the gold. Phelps started off the relay, giving them a disgustingly huge lead. I was hoping for some drama like the 4 x 100m free relay but this was acceptable (*sigh*). Ryan Lochte [1] took over, keeping up the huge margin set by Phelps. He was followed by Ricky Berens and Peter Vanderkaay anchored the race.
...Russia took silver and Australia got the bronze. I know that was less than enthusiastic but there are more important things going on here than celebrating the motherland or the land down under.
This gold medal cemented Phelps as the GREATEST OLYMPIAN OF ALL TIME!
[1] Dear God, Thank you for bringing this man into my life... even if it is through the magic of HD TV. I still appreciate it.
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
If you're not first, you're last
Ara Abrahamian decides the bronze isn't good enough for him and throws[1] it to the ground at the awards ceremony in protest of the way his match was scored. A little stupid if you ask me. He vows to quit the sport because he considers not winning a gold "a failure." Well... I know at least one person who will be satisfied with a bronze medal[2].
Anyway, I don't think the sporting world will be missing someone special if Ara quits. Who in their right mind disrespects the Olympic institution by throwing away a medal. Way to go, you ruined the rest of the ceremony for the other athletes.
To his defense, there was definitely something wrong with the scoring. These kinds of incidences have been very common during these Olympics. Perhaps this was his way of bringing to light the possibility of corruption at these games. However, there is a whole other way to go about things (see: Yang Tae-young vs. Paul Hamm).
[1] Actually, he gingerly placed it on the mat.
[2] Contact kfarah@smu.edu for more information.
Anyway, I don't think the sporting world will be missing someone special if Ara quits. Who in their right mind disrespects the Olympic institution by throwing away a medal. Way to go, you ruined the rest of the ceremony for the other athletes.
To his defense, there was definitely something wrong with the scoring. These kinds of incidences have been very common during these Olympics. Perhaps this was his way of bringing to light the possibility of corruption at these games. However, there is a whole other way to go about things (see: Yang Tae-young vs. Paul Hamm).
He would have made Ricky Bobby proud.
[1] Actually, he gingerly placed it on the mat.
[2] Contact kfarah@smu.edu for more information.
Monday, August 11, 2008
OH MY PHELPS!
Yawn... another gold. Photo by Reuters.He is now the greatest Olympian of all time and broke yet another world record. Oh and he did it with his eyes full of water. Yep... he can do this with his eyes closed. I really don't have much to say after this. I bow down to the greatness that is Michael Phelps.
I would like to take a moment to thank everyone that made it possible for me to watch this in HD. It was sheer bliss.
The Chinese are not human!
It is official! I have come to the conclusion that the Chinese are in fact robots.
First that opening ceremony then the CRAZINESS in gymnastics and diving? Those people are perfection personified. I wonder what happens when they make a mistake? I'm sure the government has a hand in choosing their punishment. But seriously, these guys are made of something else other than flesh and bone.
The Chinese Men's gymnastics team went on to crush their opponents in the team competition, grabbing the gold from a visibly "off" Japanese team. USA got the bronze after a killer routine from Alexander Artemev on the pommel horse that saved them a spot on the podium.
First that opening ceremony then the CRAZINESS in gymnastics and diving? Those people are perfection personified. I wonder what happens when they make a mistake? I'm sure the government has a hand in choosing their punishment. But seriously, these guys are made of something else other than flesh and bone.
The Chinese Men's gymnastics team went on to crush their opponents in the team competition, grabbing the gold from a visibly "off" Japanese team. USA got the bronze after a killer routine from Alexander Artemev on the pommel horse that saved them a spot on the podium.
Sunday, August 10, 2008
Random African craziness
I'm not so sure whether to be proud of my people for this or hang my head in shame at the measures they will take to cheat immigration systems in Africa. I would like to point out that immigration doesn't actually exist on that continent. Many countries would like to think they have very tight border security when in actuality, the border consists of a gate with a sign on the side saying "Welcome to (insert name here)." This gate is surrounded by miles of unguarded land, making it useless unless you are in a vehicle.
This all sounds well and good but what if you have been denied a visa to a country? A normal human being would just avoid said country and go somewhere else instead yes?
NO!
Not my people! Not hard-headed Africans who think every government is out to get them. You see, they have been conditioned after years of corruption to believe that this is only a way for the government to get more money from them. As long as they have a visa to a country bordering their ideal destination, all they need is a reliable cyclist, a few (insert currency) to pay the cyclist, and a little luck to cross the border. Once on the other side, they can board a bus and head on home. I know what you are thinking: there should be some security on a border... perhaps one in the form of a uniformed person with a nice shiny badge on their chest. Sure there are cops there... but African cops are lazy. They would rather bother the travelers within their reach instead of chasing down someone on a bike. Everyone is happy!
...well everyone except the government that now houses an illegal immigrant.
I have heard many success stories touting this form of travel as highly inexpensive and efficient. Sadly, I have not had the opportunity to try it out myself because I am an African who plays by the rules and have not been denied a visa as of yet.
This all sounds well and good but what if you have been denied a visa to a country? A normal human being would just avoid said country and go somewhere else instead yes?
NO!
Not my people! Not hard-headed Africans who think every government is out to get them. You see, they have been conditioned after years of corruption to believe that this is only a way for the government to get more money from them. As long as they have a visa to a country bordering their ideal destination, all they need is a reliable cyclist, a few (insert currency) to pay the cyclist, and a little luck to cross the border. Once on the other side, they can board a bus and head on home. I know what you are thinking: there should be some security on a border... perhaps one in the form of a uniformed person with a nice shiny badge on their chest. Sure there are cops there... but African cops are lazy. They would rather bother the travelers within their reach instead of chasing down someone on a bike. Everyone is happy!
...well everyone except the government that now houses an illegal immigrant.
I have heard many success stories touting this form of travel as highly inexpensive and efficient. Sadly, I have not had the opportunity to try it out myself because I am an African who plays by the rules and have not been denied a visa as of yet.
Holy Mother of Olympics
Did you catch that 4x100 freestyle relay?
Oh come on... the one where ze French CHOKED on their words?
The one where Jason Lezak swam a 46.0 anchor leg... aka the FASTEST split in HISTORY!
The one where the US team SHATTERED the world record?
Or maybe this rings a bell...
Michael Phelps celebrates the win in hulk-like fashion
Oh come on... the one where ze French CHOKED on their words?
The one where Jason Lezak swam a 46.0 anchor leg... aka the FASTEST split in HISTORY!
The one where the US team SHATTERED the world record?
Or maybe this rings a bell...
Michael Phelps celebrates the win in hulk-like fashionOh yessir I'm damn proud to be American. Hail to the red white and blue and all that. Speaking of red white and blue... how about them Frenchies? What happened to "we will smash them" Alain Bernard?
Also, I would like to point out Cullen Jones, who is the first African American to hold/share a world record in swimming and is the second African American to make the US swim team. There goes that "black people don't swim" stereotype. Sadly, these events are all about Michael Phelps so you won't get the glory you deserve. Either way, you make us (black folk) proud!
Let me halt my celebrations because for a second there I thought the French had it. I thought Lezak couldn't possibly put it away that late in the game. That was until dude came in on the kill like a bloody shark chasing down a sea lion. Have you seen anything so amazing? This could beat the excitement of the Spain winning the Euro cup (yes I said it!).
Enjoy your silver Bernard, it would have tasted sweeter if you didn't talk so much trash.
Oh and just in case you live in a hole and don't know what is going on with Michael Phelps, this is his second gold in these Olympic games. He has six more individual events to go in his quest for eight gold medals.
PS: Why doesn't he have an awesome nickname? Seriously, my blog is lacking without the flare of an awesome nickname for Phelps. If Ian Thorpe("The Thorpedo") and Pieter van den Hoogenband ("The Flying Dutchman") have pretty cool nicknames, why doesn't Phelps. Since I am on the subject of Thorpe, I must mention that he thinks it is "impossible" for Phelps to win eight gold medals in the Beijing Olympics. Will he eat his words as Bernard did? I really like Thorpe... I wouldn't want to loose respect for him. Then again, I want to see if it is possible.
Also, I would like to point out Cullen Jones, who is the first African American to hold/share a world record in swimming and is the second African American to make the US swim team. There goes that "black people don't swim" stereotype. Sadly, these events are all about Michael Phelps so you won't get the glory you deserve. Either way, you make us (black folk) proud!
Let me halt my celebrations because for a second there I thought the French had it. I thought Lezak couldn't possibly put it away that late in the game. That was until dude came in on the kill like a bloody shark chasing down a sea lion. Have you seen anything so amazing? This could beat the excitement of the Spain winning the Euro cup (yes I said it!).
Enjoy your silver Bernard, it would have tasted sweeter if you didn't talk so much trash.
Oh and just in case you live in a hole and don't know what is going on with Michael Phelps, this is his second gold in these Olympic games. He has six more individual events to go in his quest for eight gold medals.
PS: Why doesn't he have an awesome nickname? Seriously, my blog is lacking without the flare of an awesome nickname for Phelps. If Ian Thorpe("The Thorpedo") and Pieter van den Hoogenband ("The Flying Dutchman") have pretty cool nicknames, why doesn't Phelps. Since I am on the subject of Thorpe, I must mention that he thinks it is "impossible" for Phelps to win eight gold medals in the Beijing Olympics. Will he eat his words as Bernard did? I really like Thorpe... I wouldn't want to loose respect for him. Then again, I want to see if it is possible.
Living the Dream
I know this is late but whatever.
I don't pay that much attention to basketball with the exception of the occasional game but even I will put aside my sports bias for the USA vs China Men's basketball game.
Before I start, I would like to mention that I underestimated exactly how big Kobe Bryant is in Beijing and I'm not talking about his size in comparison to his fans. Anywhere he is, there is a fan-mob surrounding him, asking for autographs and going crazy with their cameras. The only reason I find this odd is that if I saw Kobe walking on the street, I wouldn't run to him screaming like a raving lunatic [1]. For example, the crowd's reaction when his image was shown on a large screen during the opening ceremony was HUGE. To say that they went wild would be an understatement and basically an insult to his greatness. Perhaps the best example I can give would be when he was bombarded by fans on his way to the his seat during a USA vs Czech Republic women's basketball game [2]. I especially love how the security factor was eliminated by the hoards of Chinese in his face. He needs new bodyguards.
The game was fantastic! The Chinese team put up a lovely showing during the first 15 minutes. It went downhill from there when the 'Redeem Team' smothered China defensively and just shattered the board. I really liked how the Chinese fans stuck with their team though, celebrating after every shot as if they won the gold. How often do they get to watch their team at home during an Olympic game?
That sums the game up quite nicely, I think. Lebron goes up for a SPECTACULAR dunk.
I think Kobe should forget about that whole playing in Europe for $50 million a year and just go play in China. I'm pretty sure they will be willing to put up the money for his transfer. He could then start his quest for total world domination from there since he is more popular than their current leader. Yep... I think that is a pretty solid plan.
[1] I would casually throw myself at him and dramatically faint.
[2] ...Poor Czech Republic. Quelle désastre.
I don't pay that much attention to basketball with the exception of the occasional game but even I will put aside my sports bias for the USA vs China Men's basketball game.
Before I start, I would like to mention that I underestimated exactly how big Kobe Bryant is in Beijing and I'm not talking about his size in comparison to his fans. Anywhere he is, there is a fan-mob surrounding him, asking for autographs and going crazy with their cameras. The only reason I find this odd is that if I saw Kobe walking on the street, I wouldn't run to him screaming like a raving lunatic [1]. For example, the crowd's reaction when his image was shown on a large screen during the opening ceremony was HUGE. To say that they went wild would be an understatement and basically an insult to his greatness. Perhaps the best example I can give would be when he was bombarded by fans on his way to the his seat during a USA vs Czech Republic women's basketball game [2]. I especially love how the security factor was eliminated by the hoards of Chinese in his face. He needs new bodyguards.
The game was fantastic! The Chinese team put up a lovely showing during the first 15 minutes. It went downhill from there when the 'Redeem Team' smothered China defensively and just shattered the board. I really liked how the Chinese fans stuck with their team though, celebrating after every shot as if they won the gold. How often do they get to watch their team at home during an Olympic game?
That sums the game up quite nicely, I think. Lebron goes up for a SPECTACULAR dunk.[1] I would casually throw myself at him and dramatically faint.
[2] ...Poor Czech Republic. Quelle désastre.
Saturday, August 9, 2008
Not so secret ninja skill #1
I bake!
Yes... it is true.
I have the ability to soften people's hearts and lighten moods with my tasty treats. If you need a reference to the magnitude of my skills, see Ma-Ti aka "Heart," the planeteer from Captain Planet [1]. Okay so "Heart" was the one where people went "WTF is Heart?" I must admit, I was one of those people until I realized that Heart is considered Captain Planet's soul. Plus he has a kick-ass monkey. So there!
[1] Another reason why the 90's were amazing! I find it funny that Captain Planet had a green mullet. According to stereotypes, people with mullets don't exactly go around preaching global preservation. But then again, the 90's were a progressive time in which people were trying to break out of stereotypes so I'll just go with that.
"Captain Planet, he's our hero. Gonna take pollution down to zero!"
Yes... it is true.
I have the ability to soften people's hearts and lighten moods with my tasty treats. If you need a reference to the magnitude of my skills, see Ma-Ti aka "Heart," the planeteer from Captain Planet [1]. Okay so "Heart" was the one where people went "WTF is Heart?" I must admit, I was one of those people until I realized that Heart is considered Captain Planet's soul. Plus he has a kick-ass monkey. So there!
[1] Another reason why the 90's were amazing! I find it funny that Captain Planet had a green mullet. According to stereotypes, people with mullets don't exactly go around preaching global preservation. But then again, the 90's were a progressive time in which people were trying to break out of stereotypes so I'll just go with that."Captain Planet, he's our hero. Gonna take pollution down to zero!"
You think he is the one...
...but the kid is not his son! I'm really hoping you get the musical reference here because I will be thoroughly disappointed (oooh *shudder*) if you don't recognize this greatness[1]:
Please tell me why I should care about an ex-politician's sexploits? Furthermore, please tell me why everyone is surprised he cheated on his wife with that Camilla look-alike (seriously, she looks like Camilla in her raving days...if those even existed back then). Former Senator Edwards was too good to be true with his perfect smile and hair and pretty good looking face. K saw right through that, right through his "let's do it for Darfur" message. Okay that last part was mostly because I am naturally suspicious of politicians who use Africa as part of their campaign strategy. I must hand it to the dude, he managed to out douche himself with the "sure I cheated on my terminally ill wife...but the kid is not my son." Kudos for not sperminating the woman I guess (you know that kid is his!).
Con-damns 1- 0 Sperm
Flashback to 1998 when a similar story actually mattered because the man was EFFIN PRESIDENT!!! Our scandal standards have been seriously lowered since the glory days. What does Edwards do again?
This is just another on a long list of things that I could care less about but CNN just doesn't get the message. Why must they torture me this way?
[1] So it is from the 80's... I would love to say that the 80's were amazing but I'm a 90's baby dammit! Give me a break! I can't limit myself to white Michael. HE MADE THRILLER!!!
Please tell me why I should care about an ex-politician's sexploits? Furthermore, please tell me why everyone is surprised he cheated on his wife with that Camilla look-alike (seriously, she looks like Camilla in her raving days...if those even existed back then). Former Senator Edwards was too good to be true with his perfect smile and hair and pretty good looking face. K saw right through that, right through his "let's do it for Darfur" message. Okay that last part was mostly because I am naturally suspicious of politicians who use Africa as part of their campaign strategy. I must hand it to the dude, he managed to out douche himself with the "sure I cheated on my terminally ill wife...but the kid is not my son." Kudos for not sperminating the woman I guess (you know that kid is his!).
Con-damns 1- 0 Sperm
Flashback to 1998 when a similar story actually mattered because the man was EFFIN PRESIDENT!!! Our scandal standards have been seriously lowered since the glory days. What does Edwards do again?
This is just another on a long list of things that I could care less about but CNN just doesn't get the message. Why must they torture me this way?
[1] So it is from the 80's... I would love to say that the 80's were amazing but I'm a 90's baby dammit! Give me a break! I can't limit myself to white Michael. HE MADE THRILLER!!!
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
Saturday, August 2, 2008
Momma said knock you out.
My mother was right when she told me to watch my back, that people would only give me lip service (ok get your mind out of the gutter, ya nasty!). By that she means, that people will always say one thing to your face, and go ahead and say something else behind your back. Naturally, I didn't pay much attention because I thought this was human nature- people lie. So why was she telling me something I already knew? Momma didn't want me to be shocked when it happened. But I still feel crushed when it happens, like someone effortlessly killed the lion I was tracking all day [1]. That after all that time and dedication to a subject, all of a sudden your relationship is gone.
I have 3 friends [2] that I would trust with everything, 3 friends who I could tell anything. I know what you want to say, should you list your friends in order of importance? I never did that because I wanted to give everyone a level playing field [3]. I didn't want to value anyone more than the other because I thought everyone enriched my life in some way. Why are they any different? They never killed my lion. I am cautious of loyalties because I never think they work. But if I was loyal to anyone, they would have to be the ones. Sure, I have a few other "friends" that I share my life with but even they have aimed for my lion. Some have even surprised me with their ability to hide behind bushes and go for the kill, making me doubt my spear chucking skills.
Which brings me to another lesson my mother taught me:knock them the fuck out! keep your enemies close, real close [4]/.
[1] I'm actually in no way an advocate of lion hunting. This was just a comparison.
[2] Friends outside family: not including cousins, "cousins", family friends, or in anyway attached to my family.
[3] Look at me making it seem like people are vying for my friendship, like they care. Way to make yourself feel important!
[4] ...dun dun dun!
I have 3 friends [2] that I would trust with everything, 3 friends who I could tell anything. I know what you want to say, should you list your friends in order of importance? I never did that because I wanted to give everyone a level playing field [3]. I didn't want to value anyone more than the other because I thought everyone enriched my life in some way. Why are they any different? They never killed my lion. I am cautious of loyalties because I never think they work. But if I was loyal to anyone, they would have to be the ones. Sure, I have a few other "friends" that I share my life with but even they have aimed for my lion. Some have even surprised me with their ability to hide behind bushes and go for the kill, making me doubt my spear chucking skills.
Which brings me to another lesson my mother taught me:
[1] I'm actually in no way an advocate of lion hunting. This was just a comparison.
[2] Friends outside family: not including cousins, "cousins", family friends, or in anyway attached to my family.
[3] Look at me making it seem like people are vying for my friendship, like they care. Way to make yourself feel important!
[4] ...dun dun dun!
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