Lyrical sign of the apocalypse

The content of mainstream music has gone down so much that I find myself just turning off the radio mid-commute and listen to the sound of the road instead. I admit that sometimes the beat overrides the lyrics so much that I just jam to whatever comes on. This is until I start listening to the words instead of the infectious rhythm and realize that the people Michael and the USA for Africa crew were singing about (See We are the World aka the song I used to tear up to because I thought the world really cared about Africa) are responsible for the fall of society.

Lyrical sign of the apocalypse:
Hotstylz: Lookin Ass Nigga
I'm not so sure whether to view it as a pretty good diss song but I'll go with my first impression of it and say WTF. This sneaky punk almost had me thinking it was ok with some of the references-more specifically the Harry Potter ( "alohamora ole Harry Potter lookin ass nigga"). But the extreme coonery of the song trumped that and left me shaking my head in disbelieve that I wasted 3+ minutes of my life listening to it and contributing to such negro nonsense.

All was well though when I got home and detoxed with some Lupe.

Friends in my head

My friends and I are celebu-stalkers. It is true, we follow their lives more than our family's, referencing them by their first names or nicknames even though we don't really know them personally, and playing 6-degrees of separation just so we can feel closer to them (heck yes I know Fernando Torres via two people!!!). It is also true that we know where some of said celebrities live. I have no idea why we glorify these people, most of them professional clothes wearers who really have no talent other than looking so damn fine. Others I love just because they are so damn gifted--sometimes too talented (See James McAvoy and Lupe Fiasco). Then there are those I love to hate (see Cristiano Ronaldo). Finally, there are those who are friends in my head.
First, let me explain the concept of a friend in your head: It is a person you don't know directly but think you would be really good friends with them if you did. Don't start judging now because I know you have thought about this more than once. We are all friends here... at least in my head we are.

So here is a list of some my friends in my head

• Ed Westwick: He is just so suave, so cool, so complimentary to my style lol. He just doesn't seem to give a damn, much like me. The only problem I would have with this dude is that he is a supposed Chelsea F.C fan and as a Liverpool fan, I don't know how this would go down. Game days would be interesting though.
• Christopher Mintz-Plasse: If he is anything like his claim to fame, McLovin, Chris would be a damn good addition to my crew in my head.
• Leighton Meester: from what I gather in her interviews, this chick is hilarious. Not to mention she has good style and everyone needs a friend with style.
  
• Kevin Jonas: ...because the other two don't cut it lol.
• Shia LaBeouf: A negro loving white guy. Who doesn't want that in their entourage? Plus he is a member of Cardboard City which includes, Head Automatica. Oh and how could I forget the humor. If he is good enough for Steven he is good enough for me.

• Jason Mraz: He's skinny but fat full of rhymes. That video has to be one of my fav Mraz moments.
• Lupe Fiasco: Luuu! Who doesn't want a friend that can flow like Lu? I mean he just reeks of cool and he knows it- he named his album "The Cool." As most of the people close to me know, shoes are kind of a big deal to me and Lupe KNOWS shoes. I mean his style is nearly flawless. Above are the shoes he and Dr. Romanelli designed for Converse- are they not beautiful?
  
• Craig Ferguson: I LOL every single time I watch his show. Somewhere between his accent and crazy antics I realized, I would love some Craig in my life.

• Dave Chappelle: It is hard to believe but some people have never watched this cat in action and I must say it is a damn shame! But if you have, you know he is a genius- a comical genius. That video brings me to my next person...
  
• Mos Def: don't get me started on him. He is perfection personified (See movie: Something the Lord Made).
  
• Andre 3000: He has a number in his name and can pull it off unlike some people (See 50 cent). What more can you ask for?
• The Arctic Monkeys: All of them.
  
• Peter Crouch: I love this man even though he doesn't play for Liverpool anymore (bitches for letting him go).
• Rupert Grint: God sent down a blessing in the form of a ginger.
  
• M.I.A.
• Tyra: She is fierce!

• Bon Qui Qui: Don't start with that whole "Bon qui qui is not real" BS. We all know a Bon qui qui. Why do I wan't a Bon qui qui in my faux entourage? Because she is not afraid to CUT you.
  
• Vivica A. Fox: If Bon qui qui was real, she would be Vivica.
  
• Tia Mowry: I just can't put my finger on it but I love this girl (in a totally non "I kissed a girl and I liked it" way).
• Neil Patrick Harris: (See Dr. Horrible's Sing-a-long Blogs)

• Brangelina and their mini United Nations: I gotta have them. They are just too perfect for words. My only problem is the way they treat that poor child Zahara- get the girl a damn black hairstylist! Having her hair looking like that everywhere you go. It's a damn shame! You have money, get her hair did!
• Janet Jackson: She is just so damn nice isn't she. Always polite, always sweet, always put together. I need that in my faux-entourage- she would be the equivalent to my bff Emy.
  
• Kal Penn: Because everyone needs a funny brown man in their crew. Kal is my man. He proved himself in the Harold and Kumar films.
• John Krasinski: no words.

• Brett and Jermaine of Flight of the Conchords: Because everyone should have the fourth most popular guitar-based, digi-bongo, acapella-rap-funk-comedy folk duo in their crew.
• Sascha Baron Cohen
• Santogold: So I can borrow her jackets.
• Wyclef Jean: A friend with a message.
  
• Kat Williams: If there was anyone who could convince me that smoking the ganja was good for you ("Hungry, happy, sleepy...those are the side effects") on the basis that "it is a plant...it just grow," it would be Kat. Plus he voices A Pimp Named Slickback (yes you have to say the whole thing...even the "A Pimp" part) on The Boondocks. He has exposed the horrors of "Chronic Bitch Dependency," something the world needs to know about.
  

• Riley Freeman: So he is a cartoon... anything goes in my faux entourage people! I don't discriminate. Riley AKA Young Reezy is Thug Life at it's best. He has a fair amount of criminal knowledge, which would make him a welcome entry to my crew. He also doesn't discriminate..."based on gendaah." He uses "bitches" as a general term for women, not specific women. Plus, anyone that refers to Santa as a "bitch ass nigga" is alright with me. Telling children to believe in that crap is just cruel.
  

• Thugnificent: While I'm on this Boondocks run, I might as well talk about Thugnificent. Hell, the video above speaks for itself. Like me, he "likes to invest in the arts, and invest in himself."

[I promise that is the last of the YouTube videos... don't want to go on overload here even though I think I just might have]

• The creators of Potter Puppet Pals: ...ok more like the potter puppet pals themselves. I would love a spontaneous chorus of puppets somewhere in my crew.
  
• Amanda Bynes: She's the man!
• Sergio Ramos: I needed a Spanish addition to my crew. I know you probably thought I would chose Fernando Torres in a heartbeat, and I really would like to put him in my entourage but I'd rather not want to sex up my friends. So Sergio Ramos is a safe bet: he seems pretty hilarious and is a damn good footballer.
  
• Captain Jack Sparrow: Do I need to explain this one? Really? Really?
  
• Zach Efron: I need someone to do my makeup and make sure it is spot on if I decide to start caring about what I look like.
• Wall-E: All he has to do is say his name to be awesome.
  

...I'm getting lazy now so I'll just stop here. I shall resume this post at a later date.
Who would you like in your faux-entourage?

If love is a drug, I guess we're all sober.

I must admit, I'm not the best advocate of love out there- I usually scoff at various signs of affection and generally don't surround myself with people who "bleed rainbows and sunshine" as someone so eloquently put it. But I have just realized how much I value the small percentage of people I know who do find joy in things other than people's misery.
I was listening to Nerina Pallot's "Everybody's gone to war" (aka my pseudo anthem for the past 3 years) and I thought to myself, do I have to be so damn cynical about life, love, and happiness in general? I would love to answer yes in a heartbeat but a part of my is wondering what it is like to think everything is a skittles commercial. Then again, I have spent most of my life being the sarcastic love-hater and don't really want to let go of that so easily.

A significant amount of my day is spent on YouTube (don't start judging because I know you definitely have spent more than one hour on there on occasion) but I never really found the need to read the comments until recently. So between my daily intake of Justin Nozuka, I found time for my other O. Lover Jason Mraz and for the first time, I know what some of my friends feel like when I hate on the Jonai . On one of the Geek in the Pink's videos, a lovely comment was made that made me go "WTF! But he is amazing!"

"What's that pretentious, whiny sound I'm hearing...sounds like a woman with a stomach injury...oh it's Jason Mraz...
go ahead you granola-munching, avocado-raising psuedo jamaican peace farmers - throw a fit..."

Now you must imagine my confusion because I have no idea what is wrong with being a "granola-munching, avocado-raising, pseudo jamaican peace farmer." Hell, I would love to be one... or be with one lol. I spent a good 5 minutes reading this comment over and over again, thinking... 'this is exactly what I say about the Jonai, except for the whole "granola-munching, avocado-raising, pseudo Jamaican peace farmer" thing' (because we all know they are not cool enough to pull that off in their tight pants). To my defense, I have given them props for writing their stuff and for their style on occasion, I only make fun of my friends' love for little boys. Anyway, for someone who loves Mr. Wordplay so much, I should be able to "live high, live mighty." So this is to my two biggest Jonas-loving friends, I have decided to refrain from my Jonas bashing so you don't have to go through what I did when reading that comment (yes it was that bad... I still don't understand it. He made Curbside Prophet!!! Jamon!). You still need help though... how about liking grandpa-Jonas (KJ) instead of baby-Jonas (NJ)?

No?

Ok...

American Terrorist

[...the following might jeopardize my status as a potential American citizen. So if any member of the FBI, CIA, or any Intelligence organization happens upon this, I would like to say, "Jay-Kay!"]

...the jokes about my "legal alien" status are about to be over- sorry Eric. I'm not so sure how I feel about surrendering my Kenyan passport for the American one but according to one of the exam questions, "it is a privilege" so I'm just gonna roll with that for now.
Basically, I think of this as one of my infiltration schemes (more on those later). I have penetrated the American system, gained its trust, and now I am becoming one of them. Unfortunately, I sealed my fate when I answered yes to "are you ready to bear arms to protect the United States?" Clearly I am far from being war ready, although I believe I have the potential to be extremely trigger happy when put in the right situations. I am also a damn good spy... so in the event that a universal draft is ordered, I am willing to trade information about my people (the Somalis) that will blow your mind in return for immunity from military service. For example: the Somalis love their bananas so if you control the banana trade in Somalia, you can basically topple their society, cause havoc, and thus get revenge for that embarrassing blemish in your military record. I guess that would be called being a damn good snitch, but either way, I know stuff lol. However, if the Amurricans decide they want to expand their holy/oil war to include the rest of the Muslim world I won't trade my Qur'an for a gun. I might just have to pull a Muhammad Ali and say "I ain't got no problems with no Moos-leems." Sadly, I will probably be a lowly citizen with hardly as much influence in the country as Ali has so there will be no R. Kelly song sang about me. Then again, Kelly will have already touched the sky by then...

A painted smile

Realized that the whole time it wasn't real, the smile on my face. Nothing but a façade, covering the mess I have created. Can't see the pain it has caused, can't see the lies it has masked. It has been on for so long, I don't know the difference anymore. But not so sure I am willing to let go of its comforts. Afraid it won't be long before they realize I have been missing. What do you do when you don't want to be found?
I keep looking for answers to my questions when I know exactly where to find them. Just avoiding the truth. There are worse things I could do.

...That was my feeble attempt at putting together the thoughts that plague my mind right now.

Listening to: Oh Lately It's So Quiet- Ok Go

As if I needed another reason

...to love Spain even more. That is one lucky country: Euro Cup last week and now Rafa has won Wimbledon. WHAT IS THIS!!!
Anyway, that match was EPIC. Every minute, minus the rain delay, was nothing short of amazing. I only wish I could have heard him speak more Spanish in his interviews because the man was clearly struggling. I could tell he just wanted to burst out in his native tongue to express his emotion but he was confined to the Germanic prison of the English language.

"It is a dream to play on this court, but to win I never imagined something like this- so very happy. Thank you very much everybody."

Now imagine how beautiful that would have sounded en Español. I would have gladly "freetranslation.com-ed" that ho. I am seriously considering changing my focus from French to Spanish. I have always been good at the accent and thanks to Shakira y Alejandro Sanz, can sing along very well to various songs lol.
These are things I have to ponder. As of now, my Spanish playlist is on heavy rotation and I am doing everything within the scope of my imagination to make it seem like I am not in Tejas. Although it helps that this place was formerly Spanish ground.

Viva España!